be careful, i actually might bite.

it has started snowing.

personally this means horrible, cold, long, dark winters for me. but this year the snow came with a different approach, both good and bad.
when the darkness starts to surround you (usually about late october) in this country, a lot of people started getting sick, depressed and a bunch of different things, so its important to find something that will brighten this period up. for some people thats tough, and for others its easy. this year for me its been a mix of both. okay, so more of the easy than hard, but something hit me hard in the face about 2 weeks ago. for sometime a really close friend of mine's dad hasnt been doing so well, and two weeks ago tomorw this friend of mine did something which i think is very brave. she texted me that he had passed away during the night. ofc i felt a pain in my heart, seeing as i have known their family for the whole 6, soon 7 years that ive been here in sweden, a true friend of mine. i know it's tough for her and her family, but sweetie you know im always here for you whenever you need me, and i love you tons <3
this is something that has been with me, and the one thing that made the darkness that much more cruel.
r.i.p kenneth <3
another thing that i have found out recently is that my grandfather hasnt been doing well either, which is a pain for my mom seeing as my grandmother is also very sick. so this means my mom and my aunt will be going back to korea again, for the 2nd time this year, and the 4th time since 2007. it troubles me as i dont like seeing my mom in this position, taking care of both of her sick parents, my grandparents. if we have to face the facts, everyone knows that we get old, and will eventually pass away, but you dont like to think about it when its about close friends and family members. and since my mom is going to be going to korea soon, it means she will miss out on the first couple weeks of advant. a family tradition in our house. i know its selfish of me for wanting her to be here seeing as she needs to be with my grandparents, but still. we have always been together during the advant weeks, decorating the house with christmas decorations, buying our xmas tree and decorating it. we wont even be doing that this year as we are going back to denmark for christmas since we have done that for a couple of years.

the good things that the darkness and snow has brought is the joy with friends. i never really used to like the snow seeing as its cold and wet. but this year i have officially changed part of my opinion. okay, its still COLD and wet, and bleh, but acting like you are 5 again can bring tons of fun back into ones life. making snow-angels, having snowball fights, drinking hot choc, eating xmas snacks and spending quality time with all those people i love, catching snowflakes on my tounge - these things make me enjoy this season even more. even though everyone says they hate being in school, face it, you love it deep down becos school allows you to do these things with friends everyday of the school week.

as christmas is coming up, i have decided i only REALLY want one thing this year: a trip in the summer to see my bestest friend Harri in england, as i havent seen her in 1½ years. but since i wont be in this country this year for christmas and as a bunch of friends arent even going to be in this continant, there's a couple more things i want, which i know i cant get until school starts again. take a guess. and especially one thing i want i cant have. <3. but as soon as i come back im expecting to meet up with all those crazy people whom i love.

so my advice to you for some christmas cheering up is:
- listen to xmas music, its the time, and you know it makes you happy.
- spend all the time you can with your friends and loved ones.
- start eating those yummy xmas snacks.
- make your xmas wish lists!

this is all from me now. have a happy xmas season!
Little Miss Clueless.


me and 3 friends enjoying the many layers of snow at school.